Post by adviceneeded2021 on Nov 6, 2021 20:25:21 GMT -5
I’m using this forum as a last resort. As you read this, please keep in mind I’m a kind and caring person and I made a mistake.
Me and my boyfriend got together in January and started living together in March. We are both mid 20s.
At the end of August my boyfriend found out he has Lymphoma (stage 2 moving to 3). I was almost in denial and couldn’t accept what was happening. We already weren’t having sex often and for a couple of months I felt like we were friends and probably going to end. 2 and a half weeks later, I went out and ended up sleeping with somebody else. It wasn’t planned, I was drunk but not to the point where I didn’t know what was happening.
As soon as it happened, I felt weird and wish I could go back and not do it. This was mid September. I’ve never cheated before and honestly, would never dream of doing it again. Anyway, my boyfriend has started chemo, he’s been in hospital due to complications and I’ve been there by his side everyday. We’re closer than ever, we’ve bonded more than ever before and he’s grateful for all my support.
I’ve done an STD test which came back negative but I’m still feeling more guilty now than I was when it happened.
I keep thinking about telling him, but also feel this could be a selfish reason as I’d be doing it to make myself feel better but it would only cause him more pain and discomfort in an already faecal situation.
I’m normal circumstances, I am pretty sure he would end it if I told him but the way we’ve grown closer recently, I’m not sure if he would end it but I know he would be devastated which would make me feel even worse than I already do (not sure that’s possible though).
The only people that know is me, the guy and my bestfriend but she thinks I shouldn’t tell him and just make sure it never happens again. I’m also 99.9% sure she would never say anything.
So, what should I do? Am I a terrible person? Should I tell him and risk feeling less guilty or potentially feeling even more guilty? I’m really struggling, but all I do know is I love him and I’ve well and truly learned my lesson.
Me and my boyfriend got together in January and started living together in March. We are both mid 20s.
At the end of August my boyfriend found out he has Lymphoma (stage 2 moving to 3). I was almost in denial and couldn’t accept what was happening. We already weren’t having sex often and for a couple of months I felt like we were friends and probably going to end. 2 and a half weeks later, I went out and ended up sleeping with somebody else. It wasn’t planned, I was drunk but not to the point where I didn’t know what was happening.
As soon as it happened, I felt weird and wish I could go back and not do it. This was mid September. I’ve never cheated before and honestly, would never dream of doing it again. Anyway, my boyfriend has started chemo, he’s been in hospital due to complications and I’ve been there by his side everyday. We’re closer than ever, we’ve bonded more than ever before and he’s grateful for all my support.
I’ve done an STD test which came back negative but I’m still feeling more guilty now than I was when it happened.
I keep thinking about telling him, but also feel this could be a selfish reason as I’d be doing it to make myself feel better but it would only cause him more pain and discomfort in an already faecal situation.
I’m normal circumstances, I am pretty sure he would end it if I told him but the way we’ve grown closer recently, I’m not sure if he would end it but I know he would be devastated which would make me feel even worse than I already do (not sure that’s possible though).
The only people that know is me, the guy and my bestfriend but she thinks I shouldn’t tell him and just make sure it never happens again. I’m also 99.9% sure she would never say anything.
So, what should I do? Am I a terrible person? Should I tell him and risk feeling less guilty or potentially feeling even more guilty? I’m really struggling, but all I do know is I love him and I’ve well and truly learned my lesson.
