Post by w on Nov 4, 2021 13:55:42 GMT -5
I really hope this is really anonymous lol. I'm a girl with a guy bsf, we've been really close for a few years and he is the most important person to me.
I'm usually as physically affectionate with my friends as they'll allow me to and I'm used to looking like a couple, be it straight or lesbian, with my girl and boy best friends. Except me and my guy bsf used to live far away from each other but now we get to hang out a lot. We don't do anything particularly weird except hugging a lot and for a long time. I feel like it's getting more and more affectionate (still nothing weird though, just hugging) and at this point I don't know if I'm flustered or just uncomfortable. But then again, I couldn't tell him I'm uncomfortable because there are also times when I want to hug him a lot...
I haven't fallen in love in several years and I've been wanting a boyfriend for a while but can't seem to actually like people. Same goes for him, I feel like he's a great person but the idea of dating him doesn't attract me. I don't feel butterflies or anything comparable to what I felt towards guys I've liked. But I get a little jealous when I hear him laugh on the phone and idk what it's about. Lately, I also feel like I miss him too often and get too anxious over not seeing him for a few days, but since my life has been pretty stressful, I might just be looking for comfort. I've talked about it with a few guy friends and they think I'm experiencing fear of loss and not love. I've never been sexually attracted to anyone, so that can't help identifying how I feel.
As for him, he liked me a while back, he compliments me a lot and he doesn't hug anyone else, so I think he might still like me. That may have also biased my feelings because I've had that happen before : I didn't have feelings towards my ex until he confessed and I felt bad for him, then within a week I ended up falling for him too...
I'm also a hopeless romantic who reads a lot of cheesy love stories. Half of them include the two opposite-sex best friends eventually realizing their feelings for each other. He's never had a gf, so I don't know if I'd get jealous if he got one -- but society tells me I would and I am kind of afraid of realizing it too late. But since that confession incident was buried in the past and we've never brought up that kind of topic again, I wouldn't want to ruin our relationship (especially if he didn't like me anymore) when I'm not actually suffering from love the way I did with others.
I'm just confused. What do you think I'm feeling ? Will I end up regretting it if I don't make a move ? But then, do I really want to make a move ?
Please help xD
Edit : a few things I forgot to mention :
- I also liked him a little when we first met irl, but it faded away quickly because I didn't want a long-distance relationship
- Another problem with us dating would be our families, who might disapprove but we're both adults. But I wouldn't want to create inter-family troubles just because I'm lonely lol
