Post by moonbeam on Feb 7, 2021 22:39:29 GMT -5
Hello, I hope someone can help me out before I do something I regret. Allow me to explain the situation.
A few years ago I met a boy who quickly became my best friend. While navigating the ups and downs of highschool I was glad to meet someone who had similar interests. This became the basis of my first romantic relationship. At the time he asked me out I was unsure of my own emotions but curious about having a boyfriend. As time passed, I started feeling what I suspect was a romantic type of love, however before these feelings could grow he broke up with me and asked if we could stay friends. Thinking back, I can't remember much of how I felt at that moment but agreed to stay friends because I valued our friendship and I didn't want to lose my best friend. I later discovered that he broke up with me because he was going through an emotional time and did not want to hurt me by accident.
A few months after the breakup I was asked for my blessing. The reason, he was now dating one of my school friends and wanted to make sure I was okay with it. Although I was confused and a little betrayed by this, I told them it was fine because I'm not the type of person that holds on to the past. After a few months, I learned they broke up and he was now dating a friend we were just introduced to, it didn't take long for me to learn of their breakup.
My problem starts a year after that.....
Since I consider him my best friend and we live in the same neighborhood, we hang out together often and would usually travel to meet our others friends together. One day he sent me a message (he too shy to say anything to my face most of the time, so any sort of romantic line was sent through an SMS, this includes the time he asked me out and broke up with me)claiming he still loved me and wanted us to try dating again. At the time I had become a second year university student and wanted to focus on my studies, which I told him when he asked. I know I was avoiding the situation and its not something I'm proud of, but I honestly didn't know how to express my feelings about it without feeling like I destroyed my friendship. He said he understood and that he would wait. I hoped it would be the end of it and I would have time to think of a proper response.
What I didn't expect was occasionally receiving messages which stated: "am I a burden?" "Why won't you give me a second chance?" "I know I hurt you in the past but I'll do better if you give a chance" "I'm really, really trying" "your the most important person in my life" "we'd be so good together", etc. It annoyed me so much that I eventually told him that I loved him like a brother and I can't imagine us dating again. I hoped that was the end of it, but it wasn't.
He took it as a challenge to make me fall in love with him again. I still get love confessions and I try my best to ignore them while still expressing the fact that I see him as a brother.
But recently he took it too far and I really need some advice on what to do.
It starts with a kiss. Since our relationship was short, we never got around to kissing. I know for a fact he kissed both of his girlfriends but that isn't what bothered me. What bothers me, is that he believes I owe him a kiss. He says its because his trying so hard, I told him he was an idiot and I want kissing him. This did not change his mind.
It also involved the fact that I am still single and have not dated anyone since I dated him, mostly because I am extremely shy and don't talk much to people I don't know. Using this fact he tried to make a deal. If I was still single by the time I turn 24 I must give him a second chance. I turn 22 this year and have two more years left to study, with these facts in mind he believes that after my 24th is the perfect time to start dating. I didn't know how to react to and after getting over my shock I told him that wasn't going to happen. He said the future is unpredictable.
No matter how many times I say no or tell him he is like my brother, he believes if he keeps trying I will fall in love with him but its only making me more annoyed as the time passes. I don't want to ruin our friendship because he is my best friend but I feel like I will have to if this goes on.
Please tell me what to do......
A few years ago I met a boy who quickly became my best friend. While navigating the ups and downs of highschool I was glad to meet someone who had similar interests. This became the basis of my first romantic relationship. At the time he asked me out I was unsure of my own emotions but curious about having a boyfriend. As time passed, I started feeling what I suspect was a romantic type of love, however before these feelings could grow he broke up with me and asked if we could stay friends. Thinking back, I can't remember much of how I felt at that moment but agreed to stay friends because I valued our friendship and I didn't want to lose my best friend. I later discovered that he broke up with me because he was going through an emotional time and did not want to hurt me by accident.
A few months after the breakup I was asked for my blessing. The reason, he was now dating one of my school friends and wanted to make sure I was okay with it. Although I was confused and a little betrayed by this, I told them it was fine because I'm not the type of person that holds on to the past. After a few months, I learned they broke up and he was now dating a friend we were just introduced to, it didn't take long for me to learn of their breakup.
My problem starts a year after that.....
Since I consider him my best friend and we live in the same neighborhood, we hang out together often and would usually travel to meet our others friends together. One day he sent me a message (he too shy to say anything to my face most of the time, so any sort of romantic line was sent through an SMS, this includes the time he asked me out and broke up with me)claiming he still loved me and wanted us to try dating again. At the time I had become a second year university student and wanted to focus on my studies, which I told him when he asked. I know I was avoiding the situation and its not something I'm proud of, but I honestly didn't know how to express my feelings about it without feeling like I destroyed my friendship. He said he understood and that he would wait. I hoped it would be the end of it and I would have time to think of a proper response.
What I didn't expect was occasionally receiving messages which stated: "am I a burden?" "Why won't you give me a second chance?" "I know I hurt you in the past but I'll do better if you give a chance" "I'm really, really trying" "your the most important person in my life" "we'd be so good together", etc. It annoyed me so much that I eventually told him that I loved him like a brother and I can't imagine us dating again. I hoped that was the end of it, but it wasn't.
He took it as a challenge to make me fall in love with him again. I still get love confessions and I try my best to ignore them while still expressing the fact that I see him as a brother.
But recently he took it too far and I really need some advice on what to do.
It starts with a kiss. Since our relationship was short, we never got around to kissing. I know for a fact he kissed both of his girlfriends but that isn't what bothered me. What bothers me, is that he believes I owe him a kiss. He says its because his trying so hard, I told him he was an idiot and I want kissing him. This did not change his mind.
It also involved the fact that I am still single and have not dated anyone since I dated him, mostly because I am extremely shy and don't talk much to people I don't know. Using this fact he tried to make a deal. If I was still single by the time I turn 24 I must give him a second chance. I turn 22 this year and have two more years left to study, with these facts in mind he believes that after my 24th is the perfect time to start dating. I didn't know how to react to and after getting over my shock I told him that wasn't going to happen. He said the future is unpredictable.
No matter how many times I say no or tell him he is like my brother, he believes if he keeps trying I will fall in love with him but its only making me more annoyed as the time passes. I don't want to ruin our friendship because he is my best friend but I feel like I will have to if this goes on.
Please tell me what to do......
