Post by stormyapple on Apr 8, 2020 10:55:07 GMT -5
Hey,
This is more of a brainstorm, letting my feelings out post, Im not seeking any specific advice.
I've been with my bf for 2 year now, we live together and are both determined that this relationship is going to last even tho theres a age gap between us.
We met on an education and he joked about kids being a pain in the a** because you have to pay child support. That's how I know he has "kids". When we started our relationship he implied that he didn't wactaully want me to know about his kids and when I told I by accident told my family he had some it was clear he didn't want them to know - I do regret telling my family.
Time has passed and I never asked more about "them", but its starting to nag me.
Was it with one woman he got serval kids and at some point left them all and didn't look back?
Is it with serval and he left them when they got pregnant? Was it with women he didnt have relationships with?
At first I didnt ask because he obviously didnt want to talk about it.. But now I dont ask because Im afraid of the answer and how I would react. How could he leave a woman and their kids and never look back if thats the case?? And how old are the kids and how many? Could they someday knock on the door because they wanna meet their dad?
I don't even know what I feel about him having been a father honstly, dont get me wrong but thats a pretty big thing and he left it?? He told me he had never been in love before me and never had so close a relationship with anyone, he talks about his ex's like he only lived with them bacause it was "handy"(??) and he left like he could leave them at any point, that Im the first thing in his life he is afraid to lose(how reomantic right?). So if there is a woman out there he lived years with and got serval kids with being there as a father, that's either a lie hes been telling me or he is a cold ass idiot.. You cant tell me you stay and get serval children with a woman you dont love and dont mean the world to you? I really hope that its one night stands he got those kids with and had all the right reasons to say he doesnt want a baby from the start.. But what is the odds for that happening serval times? Well Im not even sure if its 1 or 4 kids, but he have spoken plura the few times he joked about it..
I know Im a idiot for not asking him, but learning about just a few of his secrets has been overwhelming and I knew his answer to this could ruin my image of him, now its biting my ass I didnt ask him before I gave myself all in to the relationship. I feel like either he will tell me he couldnt care less about his kids and the woman/women OR the things he said to me about his feelings for me and his former relationships is all bullshit.
Past is past, theres been drugs and people change, I know how much he is trying to "improve" because I was about to leave because he was treating me like trash, so I must mean a lot. But eventho this is past kids is a big thing and I doubt I can just forget and not judge whatever the truth might be.
So I really fear the answers I might get but I have to ask him right? I cant live maybe the rest of my life with him without knowing more right? :/ If he will even tell me if I ask of course..
This is more of a brainstorm, letting my feelings out post, Im not seeking any specific advice.
I've been with my bf for 2 year now, we live together and are both determined that this relationship is going to last even tho theres a age gap between us.
We met on an education and he joked about kids being a pain in the a** because you have to pay child support. That's how I know he has "kids". When we started our relationship he implied that he didn't wactaully want me to know about his kids and when I told I by accident told my family he had some it was clear he didn't want them to know - I do regret telling my family.
Time has passed and I never asked more about "them", but its starting to nag me.
Was it with one woman he got serval kids and at some point left them all and didn't look back?
Is it with serval and he left them when they got pregnant? Was it with women he didnt have relationships with?
At first I didnt ask because he obviously didnt want to talk about it.. But now I dont ask because Im afraid of the answer and how I would react. How could he leave a woman and their kids and never look back if thats the case?? And how old are the kids and how many? Could they someday knock on the door because they wanna meet their dad?
I don't even know what I feel about him having been a father honstly, dont get me wrong but thats a pretty big thing and he left it?? He told me he had never been in love before me and never had so close a relationship with anyone, he talks about his ex's like he only lived with them bacause it was "handy"(??) and he left like he could leave them at any point, that Im the first thing in his life he is afraid to lose(how reomantic right?). So if there is a woman out there he lived years with and got serval kids with being there as a father, that's either a lie hes been telling me or he is a cold ass idiot.. You cant tell me you stay and get serval children with a woman you dont love and dont mean the world to you? I really hope that its one night stands he got those kids with and had all the right reasons to say he doesnt want a baby from the start.. But what is the odds for that happening serval times? Well Im not even sure if its 1 or 4 kids, but he have spoken plura the few times he joked about it..I know Im a idiot for not asking him, but learning about just a few of his secrets has been overwhelming and I knew his answer to this could ruin my image of him, now its biting my ass I didnt ask him before I gave myself all in to the relationship. I feel like either he will tell me he couldnt care less about his kids and the woman/women OR the things he said to me about his feelings for me and his former relationships is all bullshit.
Past is past, theres been drugs and people change, I know how much he is trying to "improve" because I was about to leave because he was treating me like trash, so I must mean a lot. But eventho this is past kids is a big thing and I doubt I can just forget and not judge whatever the truth might be.
So I really fear the answers I might get but I have to ask him right? I cant live maybe the rest of my life with him without knowing more right? :/ If he will even tell me if I ask of course..
