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Post by robocashier on Nov 26, 2017 2:20:47 GMT -5
About a year ago, I encountered this panhandler inside a train station and ended up letting him talk me into giving him something like $60 for what he said was an emergency. Now he has a different story that requires around the same amount of money every time he sees me. I'll sometimes not see him for months at a time, but nearly every time I do it's in a central station that's pretty hard to avoid if you're going anywhere in town. Whether or not he's telling the truth, I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I can't afford to give up $40-60 dollars multiple times per week... But on the other hand I can't take the guilt trip and usually give in. It's gotten to the point where I take a totally different route to work now, but I don't drive, and as I said earlier the station he frequents is a central one that's difficult (but not totally impossible) to avoid if I'm going anyplace else. Should I confront him, and if so, how? What else can I do other than completely reroute all my travel plans on the off chance I might see him? Talking to transit police has occurred to me, but I don't know how much they can do (or how much I'd want them to do anyway - he's harmless and has never been threatening towards me or anyone else, I just want him to leave me alone).
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Post by Ask Anon on Nov 26, 2017 5:56:29 GMT -5
Just. Say. No.
And if he harasses you, go to the police. That's what they're for.
If you carry guilt when someone tries to rip you off, then you have serious issues that you need to deal with.
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Post by Gina99 on Nov 27, 2017 18:26:57 GMT -5
This is silly. Probably hundreds of people say no to this guy because what he is doing is lying, immoral, etc. Say no or say nothing and walk passed and he will give up asking. If you are going out of your way to avoid doing so then explore what that guilt is really about.
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ruby
New Member
Posts: 2 
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Post by ruby on Dec 30, 2017 4:53:52 GMT -5
This isn't silly, it's how you feel. You are being pressured. Lie. It's the best way to do it. Tell him you can't. Say you lost all your money or tell him your mother is ill and needs all your spare money for her treatment. He is most likely a liar, and he found you to be a sucker.
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Post by Ask Anon on Dec 30, 2017 11:00:58 GMT -5
Lying is never the best way to do anything - though it may be the easiest.
Lying rarely solves a problem, it merely moves it along. In this case, he'll be there next time, waiting for your next excuse. And the time after ... Meanwhile, your fragile self respect will be reduced still further, when you realise a lying, cheating panhandler is laughing at you.
Much better to look him in the eye and "no" or "no more". More effective, and while it won't work instantly, he'll soon save his breath. And your self respect will rise.
You gave in because it seemed easier than not, lying is no different. Deal with it.
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Post by Gina99 on Dec 31, 2017 12:09:23 GMT -5
Taking the time to come up with an elaborate lie and then taking the time to say it is the silliest idea yet. Engaging in conversation will invite him to keep asking not teach him to give up
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