Post by solanus on Nov 21, 2017 20:56:49 GMT -5
I really need help with this one.
I have a friend, and we’re both grown men. I’m 20 and he’s 24. I just don’t know what to do about it. I knew him before and he got my number through a mutual friend. No problem with that at all. I was actually glad to hear from him at first. But now that he has my number, he texts me everyday without fail. Like, it’s uncanny. Whenever I feel my phone vibrate, I know that there’s an 80% chance of it being him. He’s a good guy, but I feel trapped in this relationship. It’s like once he started texting me, I have no control in this friendship. If I respond to any of his texts, which are either “Hey, What’s up?” Or “Gues What!” I know I’ll be trapped in a very trivial conversation when I have work that needs to get done and I know he does, too. I know for a fact that he’s not looking for a romantic relationship. But if I don’t respond to any text after we’ve been texting back and forth, he’ll send another one six minutes later, and he’ll send about 4 of these other texts. It’s so annoying that I hardly want to be friends with him! But dammit, I want to like this guy. He’s a good man, but the non stop texting. If I don’t respond for a few days, he’ll ask if I’m alright which is not a bad thing. We’re both in very high stress fields of study and on the path to stressful careers. So asking if I’m Okay is valid. But if I don’t respond to that, he’ll send a text saying he’s getting frustrated.
I want to confront him about this, and tell him that this kind of behavior hurts those he calls his friends. Yelling will only make it worse, and venting, especially to the person also just hurts everyone involved. I’d like to keep this between as, since this is something that should only involve us for now. I’m not afraid of him hurting me physically, either. I know him well enough to say that he won’t try it, he really is a “gentle giant” kind of guy. Besides, he knows that I could incapacitate him rather easily, not that I’d need to (or would want to for that matter). This has been going on for months and I’ve tried talking to him about it, but each time for some reason I keep saying that I need to do a better job. Maybe I just need to man up already and settle his with him as gentlemen; simple, face-to-face discussion. I apologize for the text wall, but I’m going to take an educated guess and say that there are probably many longer posts on this website.
Thank you!
Vivat Iesus,
Solanus
I have a friend, and we’re both grown men. I’m 20 and he’s 24. I just don’t know what to do about it. I knew him before and he got my number through a mutual friend. No problem with that at all. I was actually glad to hear from him at first. But now that he has my number, he texts me everyday without fail. Like, it’s uncanny. Whenever I feel my phone vibrate, I know that there’s an 80% chance of it being him. He’s a good guy, but I feel trapped in this relationship. It’s like once he started texting me, I have no control in this friendship. If I respond to any of his texts, which are either “Hey, What’s up?” Or “Gues What!” I know I’ll be trapped in a very trivial conversation when I have work that needs to get done and I know he does, too. I know for a fact that he’s not looking for a romantic relationship. But if I don’t respond to any text after we’ve been texting back and forth, he’ll send another one six minutes later, and he’ll send about 4 of these other texts. It’s so annoying that I hardly want to be friends with him! But dammit, I want to like this guy. He’s a good man, but the non stop texting. If I don’t respond for a few days, he’ll ask if I’m alright which is not a bad thing. We’re both in very high stress fields of study and on the path to stressful careers. So asking if I’m Okay is valid. But if I don’t respond to that, he’ll send a text saying he’s getting frustrated.
I want to confront him about this, and tell him that this kind of behavior hurts those he calls his friends. Yelling will only make it worse, and venting, especially to the person also just hurts everyone involved. I’d like to keep this between as, since this is something that should only involve us for now. I’m not afraid of him hurting me physically, either. I know him well enough to say that he won’t try it, he really is a “gentle giant” kind of guy. Besides, he knows that I could incapacitate him rather easily, not that I’d need to (or would want to for that matter). This has been going on for months and I’ve tried talking to him about it, but each time for some reason I keep saying that I need to do a better job. Maybe I just need to man up already and settle his with him as gentlemen; simple, face-to-face discussion. I apologize for the text wall, but I’m going to take an educated guess and say that there are probably many longer posts on this website.
Thank you!
Vivat Iesus,
Solanus
