Post by goodvibesgirl on Oct 20, 2017 22:24:56 GMT -5
So! I am a senior in college right now, and freshman year I hit it off with this girl (let's call her Jane) where we hit it off almost instantly. I know that may sound suspicious already, however, I've found our friendship to be really genuine over the last three years. I'm someone who definitely has a lot of acquaintances, but not people I trust and call my friend and feel that connection. We've definitely have both expressed that we're so happy to have each other in our lives, and this definitely feels like a friendship for life type relationship.
Here's the situation now: I met Jane girl halfway through freshman year so going into college so she was very close to another girl (we'll call her Susan) who apparently she was extremely really excited for me to meet. They had already hit it off and were definitely already in the "best friends" territory, however, I didn't think anything of it as I was the new person entering the situation! At first the dynamic between all three of us was nice, even though I definitely connected with Jane and enjoyed Susan's company. However, back then I did notice a few weird comments from Susan regarding her reaction to Jane being so enthuistic about me. Apparently when Jane met me she literally told Susan, "Omg there's this girl and she's so fabulous and we hit it off!! We HAVE to be friends with her!" and as Susan told me this, she said "I was like is this in a steal my best friend?!" LOL we all laughed but little did we know one of the three wasn't joking..
This conversation happened sophomore year, however, previously to that, invited Susan to my 21st birthday etc where we all had a got time and things were very nice! At that point, as other girls started hangout out with/peripherally in our group I'd even be sleeping over at other girls' apartment with Susan without Jane being present. I definitely considered her a "friend".
However, recently things have gotten weird. I want to make clear that I haven't don't anything to this girl at all so I'm really trying to figure out how to handle this accordingly (plus I don't have an issue with her.. so I'd never make myself look bad over this) BUT! After this summer I've noticed an iciness that Susan has toward. She keeps on randomly (and even in mixed company) talking about how alike Jane and I are BUT also one time when Jane and I went out a few weeks ago and were super excited to see each other I snapchatted a video of her (like I honestly do with most people in my life) and said "I missed my bestie so much!" (We've used that word with each before) Then Susan watched the Snapchat, screenshotted it, and said "No that's my best friend"... and I had an inkling she was serious but I just played it off and sent a couple laughing emojis to feel it out. BUT THEN! She follows up and messages "but what you don't know is that I'm serious" YO!! I actually can't believe this is real life as the last time I dealt with this was middle school. I saw her a few times on campus after that where she acted completely normal, however, I honestly wanted to bring it up with Jane first. However, due to busy schedules (and having to worry about.. things that matter 🙃) I didn't get a chance to ask Jane about it before another incident happened. I was at this girls house (by chance) and she introduced me to her mom as the "girl who steals her best friend!" and later on brought it up again saying she was really taken aback by it (weird) , and continuously briniging up how Jane and I are SO alike etc but anyway....
Long story short that same girl has a birthday coming up, and though I've invited to her to my birthday events for the last two years, she did not invite me to her party that a) had a good number of people there AND drumroll.. 2) she asked me advice on where to have it and literally had it at the same venue I suggested..
So at this point, I know this girl is trying to draw the line in the sand for whatever reason.. and I have no issue moving away from her negative energy, which honestly feels like a blessing in disguise at this point. However... I'm started to feel a bit of weirdness between Jane and I which could be from me because I never told what her friend did, however, it's quite obvious her friend chose to not invite me. The thing is that the weirdness I'm sensing with Jane is almost a feeling of we both know there's an awkwardness occurring due to Susan's action, however, I can honestly say that it doesn't feel like she's "choosing sides" (not that I'm on a "side"... I find all of this so silly) as she was the one who really wanted us to all be friends together. I'm sensing her feeling awkward as the middleman right now and I feel like I don't want to bring up the messages in a way because it'll make me look "hurt" over the situation when I'm not/it'll become more dramatic than it is. I just feel like for me to feel close to Jane in the way I want something should be said. For example, they have a chat that I'm not apart that almost every other girl who hangs out, or even peripherally hangs out is in, but I know that Jane didn't created it because whenever she makes one, I'm in it. All in all, because Jane has been a good friend to me, I really wouldn't want this girl's insecurities to make things weird! Your opinions/advice would be helpful
LOL can't believe I wrote all of this. Thanks guys!
Also, I'll add in that Jane is very diplomatic to the point where she's hung out (not one-on-one) but with people who Susan has had issues with. So I could see her moreso avoiding talking about and moving on, however, I feel as though something should be said somehow it we both note it? If feel very comfortable with her and have discussed other (more serious) stresses in my life so I trust her in general, however, we've never had this type of convo.. it's just so annoying because if it were up to me there would be no issue!
Here's the situation now: I met Jane girl halfway through freshman year so going into college so she was very close to another girl (we'll call her Susan) who apparently she was extremely really excited for me to meet. They had already hit it off and were definitely already in the "best friends" territory, however, I didn't think anything of it as I was the new person entering the situation! At first the dynamic between all three of us was nice, even though I definitely connected with Jane and enjoyed Susan's company. However, back then I did notice a few weird comments from Susan regarding her reaction to Jane being so enthuistic about me. Apparently when Jane met me she literally told Susan, "Omg there's this girl and she's so fabulous and we hit it off!! We HAVE to be friends with her!" and as Susan told me this, she said "I was like is this in a steal my best friend?!" LOL we all laughed but little did we know one of the three wasn't joking..
This conversation happened sophomore year, however, previously to that, invited Susan to my 21st birthday etc where we all had a got time and things were very nice! At that point, as other girls started hangout out with/peripherally in our group I'd even be sleeping over at other girls' apartment with Susan without Jane being present. I definitely considered her a "friend".
However, recently things have gotten weird. I want to make clear that I haven't don't anything to this girl at all so I'm really trying to figure out how to handle this accordingly (plus I don't have an issue with her.. so I'd never make myself look bad over this) BUT! After this summer I've noticed an iciness that Susan has toward. She keeps on randomly (and even in mixed company) talking about how alike Jane and I are BUT also one time when Jane and I went out a few weeks ago and were super excited to see each other I snapchatted a video of her (like I honestly do with most people in my life) and said "I missed my bestie so much!" (We've used that word with each before) Then Susan watched the Snapchat, screenshotted it, and said "No that's my best friend"... and I had an inkling she was serious but I just played it off and sent a couple laughing emojis to feel it out. BUT THEN! She follows up and messages "but what you don't know is that I'm serious" YO!! I actually can't believe this is real life as the last time I dealt with this was middle school. I saw her a few times on campus after that where she acted completely normal, however, I honestly wanted to bring it up with Jane first. However, due to busy schedules (and having to worry about.. things that matter 🙃) I didn't get a chance to ask Jane about it before another incident happened. I was at this girls house (by chance) and she introduced me to her mom as the "girl who steals her best friend!" and later on brought it up again saying she was really taken aback by it (weird) , and continuously briniging up how Jane and I are SO alike etc but anyway....
Long story short that same girl has a birthday coming up, and though I've invited to her to my birthday events for the last two years, she did not invite me to her party that a) had a good number of people there AND drumroll.. 2) she asked me advice on where to have it and literally had it at the same venue I suggested..
So at this point, I know this girl is trying to draw the line in the sand for whatever reason.. and I have no issue moving away from her negative energy, which honestly feels like a blessing in disguise at this point. However... I'm started to feel a bit of weirdness between Jane and I which could be from me because I never told what her friend did, however, it's quite obvious her friend chose to not invite me. The thing is that the weirdness I'm sensing with Jane is almost a feeling of we both know there's an awkwardness occurring due to Susan's action, however, I can honestly say that it doesn't feel like she's "choosing sides" (not that I'm on a "side"... I find all of this so silly) as she was the one who really wanted us to all be friends together. I'm sensing her feeling awkward as the middleman right now and I feel like I don't want to bring up the messages in a way because it'll make me look "hurt" over the situation when I'm not/it'll become more dramatic than it is. I just feel like for me to feel close to Jane in the way I want something should be said. For example, they have a chat that I'm not apart that almost every other girl who hangs out, or even peripherally hangs out is in, but I know that Jane didn't created it because whenever she makes one, I'm in it. All in all, because Jane has been a good friend to me, I really wouldn't want this girl's insecurities to make things weird! Your opinions/advice would be helpful
LOL can't believe I wrote all of this. Thanks guys! Also, I'll add in that Jane is very diplomatic to the point where she's hung out (not one-on-one) but with people who Susan has had issues with. So I could see her moreso avoiding talking about and moving on, however, I feel as though something should be said somehow it we both note it? If feel very comfortable with her and have discussed other (more serious) stresses in my life so I trust her in general, however, we've never had this type of convo.. it's just so annoying because if it were up to me there would be no issue!
