Post by goingcrazy on Jan 18, 2017 18:04:41 GMT -5
I've got myself in a little bit of a pickle here. I've been married for 5 years and my husband has sole custody of his 2 young kids. His Ex is not in the picture so I'm expected to step into the mom's role. The problem is I want to have very little to do with his kids. I do want my own kids, I just don't want to deal with his ready made family. I don't want to watch them when he goes to work, take them to activities, cook for them, go to their school, sports games or anything of that nature. As a SM I expected to pitch in sporadically, but I was expecting my husband to take care of anything related to his kids. I told him I want to be like their aunt. I'm an adult figure that will help in emergencies. He thinks I'm unreasonable in thinking I'll play a minimum role in their life.
This has put an extreme strain on our marriage, both emotionally and financially. His ex doesn't pay child support and it's become my responsibility to feed, clothe, and house 2 additional people. I can't afford to get my hair done every 2 weeks like I did when I was single, I canceled my gym membership because it was expensive, and I stopped taking fun classes at the YMCA because it was too expensive because I have to pay for their after school day care! But yet I was able to do all this stuff when I was single. I work full-time and I never have any money.
I don't even want kids of my own with him because I think his kids will be bad influences. Plus I think he's a Disney dad. The kids are disrespectful and there are no consequences to bad behavior. I look at my husband and I can't stop myself from thinking what a failure and disappointment he is to me. I'm no longer sexually attracted to him, but at the same time I still love him and I want him and his girls to have a good life.
Thinking about leaving him is killing me but at the same time staying is killing me too. I take anti-anxiety pills, sleeping pills and an anti-depressant, my stomach always hurts, I have a headache all the time, plus I've never had a weight problem and I've gained 30lbs in 1 year.
What's made this even worse is that I know a guy that has been in love with me for years. I've never dated him or had a romantic relationship with him, but he's hinted at it many times. He's well off and he knows what a hard time I'm having mentally and financially. He's offered to help me financially by paying my rent for a couple of months and paying for my divorce if I leave my husband. I so want to do it.
Again I've known this guy longer than I've known my husband. He's a very traditional man and is basically looking for a housewife and he knows women try to use him for his money, but I've never been interested in that.
he didn't say it but I know he's looking for me to potentially fill that position with him. In turn he will provide for me financially and any children we may have. He wants a wife that takes care of everything in the home, manage his rental property (he owns several homes), and be available to accompany him on business trips. He does want children and he wants to hire an Aur Pair.
I live in San Francisco area and it's really hard out here and I have an easy way out. Should I take it? I can say I do love this man, but not the way I love my husband.
When I mentioned this to an older woman (about 85 yrs old) she said when she got married she choose a man that would be a good provider, a good father, had faith in God and of good moral character. She said she began to love him because he treated her with more love and respect than any man has, and if she could do it all over again she's still choose him.
What do you think?
Oh, my husband didn't have custody of his kids when we met or when we first married. His ex decided to give them up when she figured out she couldn't get any additional child support from him.
This has put an extreme strain on our marriage, both emotionally and financially. His ex doesn't pay child support and it's become my responsibility to feed, clothe, and house 2 additional people. I can't afford to get my hair done every 2 weeks like I did when I was single, I canceled my gym membership because it was expensive, and I stopped taking fun classes at the YMCA because it was too expensive because I have to pay for their after school day care! But yet I was able to do all this stuff when I was single. I work full-time and I never have any money.
I don't even want kids of my own with him because I think his kids will be bad influences. Plus I think he's a Disney dad. The kids are disrespectful and there are no consequences to bad behavior. I look at my husband and I can't stop myself from thinking what a failure and disappointment he is to me. I'm no longer sexually attracted to him, but at the same time I still love him and I want him and his girls to have a good life.
Thinking about leaving him is killing me but at the same time staying is killing me too. I take anti-anxiety pills, sleeping pills and an anti-depressant, my stomach always hurts, I have a headache all the time, plus I've never had a weight problem and I've gained 30lbs in 1 year.
What's made this even worse is that I know a guy that has been in love with me for years. I've never dated him or had a romantic relationship with him, but he's hinted at it many times. He's well off and he knows what a hard time I'm having mentally and financially. He's offered to help me financially by paying my rent for a couple of months and paying for my divorce if I leave my husband. I so want to do it.
Again I've known this guy longer than I've known my husband. He's a very traditional man and is basically looking for a housewife and he knows women try to use him for his money, but I've never been interested in that.
he didn't say it but I know he's looking for me to potentially fill that position with him. In turn he will provide for me financially and any children we may have. He wants a wife that takes care of everything in the home, manage his rental property (he owns several homes), and be available to accompany him on business trips. He does want children and he wants to hire an Aur Pair.
I live in San Francisco area and it's really hard out here and I have an easy way out. Should I take it? I can say I do love this man, but not the way I love my husband.
When I mentioned this to an older woman (about 85 yrs old) she said when she got married she choose a man that would be a good provider, a good father, had faith in God and of good moral character. She said she began to love him because he treated her with more love and respect than any man has, and if she could do it all over again she's still choose him.
What do you think?
Oh, my husband didn't have custody of his kids when we met or when we first married. His ex decided to give them up when she figured out she couldn't get any additional child support from him.
