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Post by leen93 on Dec 23, 2016 5:38:38 GMT -5
Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. He deploys in four months for eight months. We have talked about marriage and even set a time frame when we would be getting married, have talked about kids, and have discussed future plans. Yesterday I asked if he was thinking about proposing before he left for deployment (I assumed he would say yes) and he said no. He then said I felt like I was pressuring him. I don't want to pressure him into something he does not want to do and if he is not ready then fine. Am I stupid for being with this guy for two years and him deploying for eight months without a ring?
Military relationships are different than most. Two years for a civilian relationship without a ring is normal. Every guy at his work is married and many with shorter relationships than us. I don't want to be strung along.
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Post by Ask Anon on Dec 23, 2016 6:16:24 GMT -5
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. He deploys in four months for eight months. We have talked about marriage and even set a time frame when we would be getting married, have talked about kids, and have discussed future plans. Yesterday I asked if he was thinking about proposing before he left for deployment (I assumed he would say yes) and he said no. He then said I felt like I was pressuring him. Two years for a civilian relationship without a ring is normal. Every guy at his work is married and many with shorter relationships than us. I get that. He's expecting you to put your life on hold while he's away, so you're more entitled than most to have some security in return. You have to follow your gut on this one. You obviously have some suspicion that he's stringing you along, but some of that may be anxiety over him being away - plus you're comparing your relationship to others around you, which may not be quite fair, as every relationship is unique. It's really all about trust; you've talked about marriage and kids ... did you ever doubt his intentions? And if you've discussed those things, then I'm not sure why he sees it as pressuring him. Of course it is 2016: you could ask him to marry you, and see where that goes. But, sadly, it's all a matter of 'trust your gut'. Point is, if he isn't ready now, will he ever be? |
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Post by Ask Anon on Dec 23, 2016 6:27:11 GMT -5
This must be the same guy you posted about before - though I see you've deleted it, so our advice is kinda hanging there. Taking both your posts, I reckon the chance of this guy putting a ring on your finger is approaching zero. You're a convenient source of sex when the guys don't want to go out, but you don't figure high on his list of priorities. As I said before, " doesn't matter how great a guy he is, he also has to be someone you can live with, someone who is there for you " - and this guy obviously isn't. |
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