Post by tauruslakes on Oct 21, 2020 20:18:33 GMT -5
So a little bit of background information - I met someone online through a mutual friend in March, we started out just chatting every now and then but as timed passed it became all day every day. At the start of September we admitted we had developed feelings for each other and then a week or so later made it official and became 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. Now he lives in the States and I live in the UK so we said we knew it would be hard, but that we would always openly communicate to each other and be honest about our feelings/needs to make it work. Everything was great, we would call each other often, message constantly, send pictures to each other etc etc..He was always saying nice things about me, complimenting me, saying how much he missed me/wished I was there etc. We even were discussing how to get him over to visit next year, before I go over there to meet his kids, everything was perfect.
Queue about two weeks ago....I've had some rough stuff going on in my personal life and haven't quite been myself lately. The messages from him also seemed to be getting less and less frequent and a lot shorter .However because we agreed to be open and honest, I communicated with him that I needed a little more of his support and attention and I felt I wasn't getting that. He apologised, told me he knew he needed to make me a priority and he was sorry he ever made me feel like I wasn't. Things just went downhill from there. We haven't had a phonecall for two weeks, every time I ask if he wants a call he completely ignores the question. I struggle to ever get a reply to a message and quite often he'll send me maybe 2 messages a day, then one the next morning like nothing happened. There is never any mention of missing me, of us being together - just generic 'how are yous?' 'works busy'.
Meanwhile, because we are in several servers together, I can actively see him chatting to other people while ignoring me. I told him this was making me crazy so I needed to leave the server and take some space for myself. So I spent 2 days not around my phone/messaging etc to get my head back in the right place. I thought he might have been happy to hear from me today when I messaged him telling him I was going to try going back to therapy, but I basically got "That'll be good!" as a reply and that's been the only thing for hours...He said he still wants to be my boyfriend but that just feels like empty words and as if he is waiting for me to say it's over.
What do I do ?
Queue about two weeks ago....I've had some rough stuff going on in my personal life and haven't quite been myself lately. The messages from him also seemed to be getting less and less frequent and a lot shorter .However because we agreed to be open and honest, I communicated with him that I needed a little more of his support and attention and I felt I wasn't getting that. He apologised, told me he knew he needed to make me a priority and he was sorry he ever made me feel like I wasn't. Things just went downhill from there. We haven't had a phonecall for two weeks, every time I ask if he wants a call he completely ignores the question. I struggle to ever get a reply to a message and quite often he'll send me maybe 2 messages a day, then one the next morning like nothing happened. There is never any mention of missing me, of us being together - just generic 'how are yous?' 'works busy'.
Meanwhile, because we are in several servers together, I can actively see him chatting to other people while ignoring me. I told him this was making me crazy so I needed to leave the server and take some space for myself. So I spent 2 days not around my phone/messaging etc to get my head back in the right place. I thought he might have been happy to hear from me today when I messaged him telling him I was going to try going back to therapy, but I basically got "That'll be good!" as a reply and that's been the only thing for hours...He said he still wants to be my boyfriend but that just feels like empty words and as if he is waiting for me to say it's over.
What do I do ?
