Post by yamjam06 on Mar 30, 2020 15:17:17 GMT -5
Hi guys, asking for some advice. I don’t know what the measurements of a normal family are, but I’ve always had the feeling that mine is a little messed up. My parents fight almost every other day, and threaten to divorce each other about every 3-5 months. (Usually my mom) I remember a particularly bad fight that left a younger me and my brother hiding in his closet and crying together. Now my brother almost instantly cries when he gets yelled at by our parents, which is pretty frequently, and I don’t think its too normal for a 16 yr old to be that sensitive.
Instead of becoming increasingly sensitive, I try not to react to what my mom or dad will say, and I’ve found that instead of getting sad or afraid I just get really angry. I can always find stupid flaws in their fights. I think I might have an anger problem - I always bottle it up instead of saying anything, which eventually makes me want to physically lash out, though I don’t.
My mom is worse than my dad by a long shot. She’s nice a lot of the time, but when she gets mad she won’t stop until she wins the argument, even if she’s wrong. Grades are a huge fighting topic. I’ve always have to have A’s because “she didn’t raise me to be so stupid.” and that “you should stop being such a lazy pig.” Which has led me to always try too hard on my work and get made fun of for being smart, but I can’t really help it even if I want a break. I’ve been feeling really tired of this lately, and I’ve recently had a lingering thought of just giving up and getting a C or an F so I could be a normal kid at school and not stand out. Not saying that I’m getting bullied bad, my friends usually defend me, but it’s hard, sometimes.
The disappointment card, threat of punishment, and insults are usually her go to method and I can’t even argue back because she’ll tell me that I’m being a brat. I don’t know if families normally have fights like this so I’ve just accepted it, but all my friends are actually close to their siblings, whereas me and my brother rarely engage in a conversation to talk, instead finding it easer to argue and fight.
I don’t know what to do but I don’t think it’s not right.
My brother literally has no friends and only lives for his phone and reddit. I’m not making fun of him - I’m really worried because he does have some trouble in school with his ADHD and being lonely. I’m scared he might end up doing something he might regret, as he has had a few outbursts, like telling a kid to F off or tearing up someone else’s papers. I think it’s worse for him because he’s the oldest.
I’m not even sure if the fighting is really that bad and I’m just sensitive, so I keep doubting myself over this, but there are another handful of details to it and quarantine has made it worse. Any advice? (And what does a normal, healthy family look like to you guys?)
Instead of becoming increasingly sensitive, I try not to react to what my mom or dad will say, and I’ve found that instead of getting sad or afraid I just get really angry. I can always find stupid flaws in their fights. I think I might have an anger problem - I always bottle it up instead of saying anything, which eventually makes me want to physically lash out, though I don’t.
My mom is worse than my dad by a long shot. She’s nice a lot of the time, but when she gets mad she won’t stop until she wins the argument, even if she’s wrong. Grades are a huge fighting topic. I’ve always have to have A’s because “she didn’t raise me to be so stupid.” and that “you should stop being such a lazy pig.” Which has led me to always try too hard on my work and get made fun of for being smart, but I can’t really help it even if I want a break. I’ve been feeling really tired of this lately, and I’ve recently had a lingering thought of just giving up and getting a C or an F so I could be a normal kid at school and not stand out. Not saying that I’m getting bullied bad, my friends usually defend me, but it’s hard, sometimes.
The disappointment card, threat of punishment, and insults are usually her go to method and I can’t even argue back because she’ll tell me that I’m being a brat. I don’t know if families normally have fights like this so I’ve just accepted it, but all my friends are actually close to their siblings, whereas me and my brother rarely engage in a conversation to talk, instead finding it easer to argue and fight.
I don’t know what to do but I don’t think it’s not right.
My brother literally has no friends and only lives for his phone and reddit. I’m not making fun of him - I’m really worried because he does have some trouble in school with his ADHD and being lonely. I’m scared he might end up doing something he might regret, as he has had a few outbursts, like telling a kid to F off or tearing up someone else’s papers. I think it’s worse for him because he’s the oldest.
I’m not even sure if the fighting is really that bad and I’m just sensitive, so I keep doubting myself over this, but there are another handful of details to it and quarantine has made it worse. Any advice? (And what does a normal, healthy family look like to you guys?)
