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Post by springwater on Apr 6, 2019 15:39:33 GMT -5
I'm a 20yo female and I'm still feeling like the same ugly girl from age 14. Only because my face hasn't changed much from that age despite the fact that I'm 5'7. I have a very young baby face and unfortunately, my social/environmental life is falling apart because of it. Girls in my school ignore, exclude, and isolate themselves from me because the current ideal standard for a young woman is to look like an Instagram model and I resemble an ugly awkward 13 year old girl that is a target for bullying. My father gave me a beautiful name that means God's Grace but I feel like a disgusting burden. I truly believe that most friendships formed nowadays is just to look good for the social media, take sexually enticing photos, and beyond because I don't fit the ideal standard if beauty for young women. In fact, I was bullied for most of my pre-teen and teenage years because of my appearance and as time went on, I internalized everything.
Now, instead of getting bullied, I'm generally getting ignored by classmates, teachers, coworkers, & society in general. I can't help my baby face despite hairstyles, clothing, and makeup. To sum it up, I'm very slim and petite and wearing revealing or provocative clothes makes me look like an "easy lay" from guys. I've read numerous blogs, posts, and sites on how younger women aged 18-25 receive the most attention, frequent dates, romantic partners, adventures, and wonderful experiences because of youth, "fresh faces", bodies, and vibrant personalities. But here I am, feeling like I'm not a real woman because I never get hit on, asked out, flirted with, or approached unless its by guys that just want sex. Guys will frequently "check me out" anytime I'm around them but never say hi or approach and I'm starting to believe its because I'm repulsive to the point where I make them uncomfortable, so they stare out of fear and disgust. This has been going on for 3 years, in & out of school and I feel like an undesirable piece of shit. I'm not enjoying the perks of my "youth" and constantly feeling like cutting my skin, cutting off all my hair, and just becoming homeless. People already treat me like the elephant man so running away and hiding for life won't affect anyone.
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Post by Ask Anon on Apr 7, 2019 4:38:35 GMT -5
There is much more to life than appearances, and if you only ever meet people who make their friends on that basis alone, then you are going to all the wrong places.
Two pieces of advice:
First, stop looking to be admired and worshipped by people too dumb to know that people are more than skin deep, and start looking to be recognised for what you say and what you do; for who you really are.
Second, get counselling to try to stop hating yourself and come to terms with the human being that you are. Look around you - not everyone is an 'Instagram Model', but you know, deep down, that most people thrive regardless. If you can't, there's a reason, and you need to find out what's really the problem.
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Post by Gina99 on Apr 7, 2019 8:53:19 GMT -5
It’s time to get yourself to therapy to figure out where this obsession and self hate are coming from. You are zoning in on your young face and your thoughts are not natural
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Post by stella1977 on Apr 13, 2019 13:02:53 GMT -5
I'm a 20yo female and I'm still feeling like the same ugly girl from age 14. Only because my face hasn't changed much from that age despite the fact that I'm 5'7. I have a very young baby face and unfortunately, my social/environmental life is falling apart because of it. Girls in my school ignore, exclude, and isolate themselves from me because the current ideal standard for a young woman is to look like an Instagram model and I resemble an ugly awkward 13 year old girl that is a target for bullying. My father gave me a beautiful name that means God's Grace but I feel like a disgusting burden. I truly believe that most friendships formed nowadays is just to look good for the social media, take sexually enticing photos, and beyond because I don't fit the ideal standard if beauty for young women. In fact, I was bullied for most of my pre-teen and teenage years because of my appearance and as time went on, I internalized everything. Now, instead of getting bullied, I'm generally getting ignored by classmates, teachers, coworkers, & society in general. I can't help my baby face despite hairstyles, clothing, and makeup. To sum it up, I'm very slim and petite and wearing revealing or provocative clothes makes me look like an "easy lay" from guys. I've read numerous blogs, posts, and sites on how younger women aged 18-25 receive the most attention, frequent dates, romantic partners, adventures, and wonderful experiences because of youth, "fresh faces", bodies, and vibrant personalities. But here I am, feeling like I'm not a real woman because I never get hit on, asked out, flirted with, or approached unless its by guys that just want sex. Guys will frequently "check me out" anytime I'm around them but never say hi or approach and I'm starting to believe its because I'm repulsive to the point where I make them uncomfortable, so they stare out of fear and disgust. This has been going on for 3 years, in & out of school and I feel like an undesirable piece of shit. I'm not enjoying the perks of my "youth" and constantly feeling like cutting my skin, cutting off all my hair, and just becoming homeless. People already treat me like the elephant man so running away and hiding for life won't affect anyone. I really wish I could take your pain away. Please, I hope you remember that you are not a mistake, worthless or stupid! You're not worthless and you're not ugly. It's okay to be insecure. There will always be things about you that you dislike. We are all insecure. Don't let it get the best of you. You could be the ugliest person in the world and you could still sell that in many ways. Chances are you are average and just need to build the skills that will make you good in a field of your liking. Start experimenting, doing different things and when you find the ones u like become good at them. Then it wont matter if you are ugly or gorgeous. |
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Post by springwater on Apr 14, 2019 20:02:13 GMT -5
Ever since I was 17, I always wished I could fast forward to age 50 because being a young female is absolute torture in this superficial looks obsessed society, especially with how girls and women over emphasize their appearance on social media. At least then, I'll be given respect for my intellect and character instead of my youth. I'm always treated with contempt by strangers, customers, classmates, and just society in general. I can never go out public in my "bummy" casual state because every male I walk past is dissecting my appearance and rating me inside their heads as I walk past them. They're much more respectful towards older women by never staring down their bodies, or acting like hormone-ridden fools.
Men of all ages SOLELY like my age group because were supposed to be stereotypically "hot", "fresh", reckless, partying, drinking, dancing(mainly clubs) and dressing in tight, trashy, provocative clothing. I'm the odd one out because I absolutely loathe makeup, clubbing, partying, and acting like an airhead to get a guys attention. I've even decided to cover up in this monstrous heat in California because if I even dare to wear regular shorts or a short sleeve top, I'm ogled and leered at by creeps who only want me for a hookup.
From past experiences, I've learned that I can't get away with dressing in form-fitting clothes, sleeveless tops, shorts, dresses because guys will assume that I'm easy to sleep with because I'm already ugly.
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Post by Ask Anon on Apr 15, 2019 4:18:21 GMT -5
Speaking as a man, I'd suggest you are making some very unfair generalisations about men.
Sure your accusations are often true, but unless you have mind-reading abilities, you simply cannot assume that all men are as you describe.
Sexism works both ways. You would rightly condemn me if I said 'every woman who puts on make up just wants sex' - partly because, of course, it's untrue, but partly because it's outrageously misogynistic thing to say.
But you think it's OK to abuse ALL men with your misandrist comments?
CLUE: it isn't.
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Post by springwater on Apr 15, 2019 21:25:14 GMT -5
Speaking as a man, I'd suggest you are making some very unfair generalisations about men. Sure your accusations are often true, but unless you have mind-reading abilities, you simply cannot assume that all men are as you describe. Sexism works both ways. You would rightly condemn me if I said 'every woman who puts on make up just wants sex' - partly because, of course, it's untrue, but partly because it's outrageously misogynistic thing to say. But you think it's OK to abuse ALL men with your misandrist comments? CLUE: it isn't. You're definitely right on the fact that I shouldn't generalize all men for solely caring about women's looks/appearance. I'm just very resentful because of the mistreatment I receive everyday for my appearance. It's almost like I'm being punished for not looking like a grown, mature sexy woman because of the persistent stares and following. I can never walk confidently with a smile without them staring and mimicking my gestures. |
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Post by Ask Anon on Apr 16, 2019 4:18:19 GMT -5
It's almost like I'm being punished for not looking like a grown, mature sexy woman because of the persistent stares and following. I can never walk confidently with a smile without them staring and mimicking my gestures. I do not defend their behaviour, what I don't get is why you allow these strangers to define your life. Why do you think you are so obsessed with your appearance? Why do you value yourself according to the rules laid down by people you despise and have no respect for? Look around you: I can guarantee that of the next 10 happy couples you see, fewer than half could conceivably have chosen each other on appearance alone. And yet you have convinced yourself that the only value that matters is one where you have decided you fail. This really isn't rational, is it? Have you ever had therapy or counselling and discussed your self-image? |
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Post by springwater on Apr 16, 2019 8:46:14 GMT -5
It's almost like I'm being punished for not looking like a grown, mature sexy woman because of the persistent stares and following. I can never walk confidently with a smile without them staring and mimicking my gestures. I do not defend their behaviour, what I don't get is why you allow these strangers to define your life. Why do you think you are so obsessed with your appearance? Why do you value yourself according to the rules laid down by people you despise and have no respect for? Look around you: I can guarantee that of the next 10 happy couples you see, fewer than half could conceivably have chosen each other on appearance alone. And yet you have convinced yourself that the only value that matters is one where you have decided you fail. This really isn't rational, is it? Have you ever had therapy or counselling and discussed your self-image? I've had individual therapy and group therapy two years ago and unfortunately, I didn't benefit much from it at all. Just the fact that everyone I spoke to would try to reassure me that I wasn't hideous, disgusting, or repulsive but in my day-to-day life, it all felt disingenuous. I'm naturally very reserved so the staring, mimicking, and awkward silence makes me feel isolated and self-conscious. |
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Post by springwater on Apr 16, 2019 10:35:24 GMT -5
I do not defend their behaviour, what I don't get is why you allow these strangers to define your life. Why do you think you are so obsessed with your appearance? Why do you value yourself according to the rules laid down by people you despise and have no respect for? Look around you: I can guarantee that of the next 10 happy couples you see, fewer than half could conceivably have chosen each other on appearance alone. And yet you have convinced yourself that the only value that matters is one where you have decided you fail. This really isn't rational, is it? Have you ever had therapy or counselling and discussed your self-image? I've had individual therapy and group therapy two years ago and unfortunately, I didn't benefit much from it at all. Just the fact that everyone I spoke to would try to reassure me that I wasn't hideous, disgusting, or repulsive but in my day-to-day life, it all felt disingenuous. I'm naturally very reserved so the staring, mimicking, and awkward silence makes me feel isolated and self-conscious. I know it might sound hard to believe but most girls from ages 17-25 are mainly building friendships on superficial based things. Everything is about looking good for the opposite sex, competing with other women, and following fashion and makeup trends. I've tried befriending girls in my classes but they always shun me out and I know it's because I don't participate with the usage of makeup, painted embellished nails, and trendy clothes. I've always been complimented on my sweet, kind, compassionate, personality but no one within my age group ever cares about that. It's mainly with people half my age. |
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Post by kathyshy on Sept 20, 2021 18:45:18 GMT -5
I'm now 69 yo and my early experiances as a young girl defined my whole life.
I was a young unattractive plump ginger haired girl and felt ugly as boys never paid me any attention, which I craved.
I got to 13 and reached puberty, my breasts grew very quickly and got very large and I mean large, men then started to take notice which I liked, it made me feel like I'd always wanted, attractive and desired.
One day over the field a group of older lads, 4 of them got hold of me, started groping me and undressed me, I didn't resist as they stripped me naked and all had sex with me.
After this I had got a name for being easy or as other girls called me, a slag, I let any man have me and have ever since, I sometimes wished I could have a proper relationship, but when I did I found it boring and went back to my normal ways and I'm still doing it now.
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