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Post by bitfiddler on Oct 3, 2017 14:11:36 GMT -5
I have 5 children (girls) their mother has passed away now I am married again but my wife wants me to get rid of at least my baby now just over 1yr old. ( I had asked her before marriage if she was okay with the 5 children I had or if there are any concerns because I wanted to know then. She said she didn't but now she does.) If I don't she wishes she had never married me. What should I do?
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Post by Gina99 on Oct 3, 2017 21:23:33 GMT -5
"my wife wants me to get rid of at least my baby now just over 1yr old."
I don't understand what this means. She wants you to get rid of your child? Where would it go?
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Post by Ask Anon on Oct 4, 2017 3:45:03 GMT -5
Has she any children of her own, or has she gone from none to five in one short ceremony?
Does she have trouble coping?
Is money tight?
What do you think the issue really is?
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Post by bitfiddler on Oct 12, 2017 15:18:49 GMT -5
She doesn't like the crying the baby does she says it hurst her ears.... I don't know where the baby would go. She may think the baby can be adopted out ... given away.
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Post by bitfiddler on Oct 12, 2017 15:21:28 GMT -5
Money is not tight... Yes from none to 5.
I don't know what the issue is ( other than she doesn't seem to like the 1yr old's crying ) it could be lots of things.
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Post by Ask Anon on Oct 12, 2017 15:29:13 GMT -5
Children can be very annoying ... If they're someone else's.
You need to put your children first, especially if she can't.
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Post by bitfiddler on Oct 12, 2017 15:39:06 GMT -5
She thinks the 1yr old is a tough baby and no other baby she knows crying this loud etc... She doesn't want me to talk to anyone about it except on a forum like this or pyscologist . She doesn't want anyone else to know.
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Post by Gina99 on Oct 12, 2017 23:15:02 GMT -5
Please go to counseling with her. We are only getting snippets of the problem here. Adopting your baby is a huge deal
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Post by Ask Anon on Oct 13, 2017 12:55:16 GMT -5
She thinks the 1yr old is a tough baby and no other baby she knows crying this loud etc... She doesn't want me to talk to anyone about it except on a forum like this or pyscologist . She doesn't want anyone else to know. So you get to take full responsibility for giving away your child? Time to act like a husband and father. Do the right thing. |
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Post by bitfiddler on Oct 14, 2017 15:45:10 GMT -5
She won't go to counseling ...
Ask Anon Admin - What is the right thing to do? I don't want any of my children to go away.
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Post by Ask Anon on Oct 14, 2017 15:50:38 GMT -5
You need to explain to her that is not going to happen. Ever.
Don't make it about her, it's about the children. You're their father, and that can't change.
What she does then is up to her.
But be prepared for what will seem like the worst. But remind yourself that it isn't. It's the second worst. Destroying your kids' lives would be the worst.
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Post by Gina99 on Oct 14, 2017 17:59:21 GMT -5
She won’t go to counseling which tells you that she won’t invest in helping the marriage. I can’t get over the fact that she wants you to adopt your child. How is she with your other kids? Do they like her? Is she a good wife?
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Post by bitfiddler on Oct 15, 2017 11:54:59 GMT -5
Ask Anon - I have already tested the waters there she said a few weeks ago then she wished she never married me. I have not idea what she was thinking when she babysat for me before we where married while I was at work and also over at my home when I was home almost everyday.
Gina99 - She seems to get along and like the older girls just as long as they are doing what she asks them. When we where first married she didn't want any of them except the 5 year old. Now she says she didn't know what she was thinking and only likes the 3yr and 8 & 11 yr old. Seems to despise the baby(1yr old). The older girls seem to like her.
Is she a good wife it depends on what you mean by that - When she said she wished she never married me she said it's too late now and said she guess she just wanted a good looking guy that knows the Bible well. She typically sleeps in until 10-11am I am up on weekdays at 6-6:30am. Now I usually watch the 1yr old in my office she seems happy there my wife reminds me that it's what is better for her not the children. She is good to me physically etc.. She cooks for me occasionally. ( I usually don't ask for or require her to ). She likes to speak very poorly about others she doesn't like ... I doesn't matter if they intended to do harm or not. I remind her that I don't like hearing this and I don't think it is right. About 20% of the time she says she doesn't care. (Which concerns me greatly i.e. a immoral justifier to get what I want instead of doing the right thing )
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Post by Ask Anon on Oct 15, 2017 13:10:45 GMT -5
It doesn't sound like a marriage to me, it sounds like a disaster area. Imagine the damage she is doing to your children - not deliberately, but by her disregard for their needs.
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Post by Gina99 on Oct 15, 2017 22:48:58 GMT -5
I agree. Imagine what she is doing to your kids- the damage that it is causing to hear that she doesn’t like them. Can you trust her alone with children she ‘despises’? Does she yell or hurt them?She doesn’t sound like a person who lives by the Bible. I say admit you both made a mistake and get out before she does more harm.
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