|
|
Post by mynameis42 on Sept 24, 2017 1:33:16 GMT -5
I recently started my freshman year of college, but my best friend is still a senior in high school. He committed to play a sport at a school in a different part of the country, so as if I'm not seeing him enough now, I'm afraid I won't see him at all except for holidays after he leaves. I am in love with him and I feel like I can't live without him. I can't stop thinking about him and it's making me depressed. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to ruin the friendship we already have so I don't know if I can tell him any of this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ask Anon on Sept 24, 2017 9:15:24 GMT -5
You don't whether he's gay or not - or whether he knows that you are gay, so it's impossible to give you a useful answer.
Also, if you are so in love with him, are you sure he isn't aware of that?
|
|
|
|
Post by mynameis42 on Sept 24, 2017 9:23:27 GMT -5
He's not gay. But how would I be able to know if he was aware of my feelings?
|
|
|
|
Post by Ask Anon on Sept 24, 2017 16:28:29 GMT -5
You haven't answered my other question - whether he knows that you are gay.
But to answer yours, most people have a pretty good idea of how they are perceived by others. Think about it: I'm sure you do too. Run through a list of your frequent contacts, I'll bet there's not many about whom you don't have a clue. And most, you're probably pretty confident.
I'll bet you have a pretty good idea what he thinks of you, don't you?
|
|
|
|
Post by Gina99 on Sept 24, 2017 22:08:54 GMT -5
Do you still live near him? Also it seems that you are obsessing about him in order to not move on with university, new friends, dating, studies etc. Think about it; maybe your depression is more about growing up.
|
|
|
|
Post by mynameis42 on Sept 25, 2017 10:21:44 GMT -5
I haven't told him my feelings yet, but I'm not sure if he knows or not. My problem with school is that I'm not moving on because I want him to still be a major part of my life, and I feel like if I move on, I'll lose him.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ask Anon on Sept 25, 2017 13:03:12 GMT -5
You still haven't answered my other question - whether he knows that you are gay.
You must see that this a central issue here.
I can't advise you without having highly relevant facts.
|
|
|
|
Post by Gina99 on Sept 25, 2017 20:17:29 GMT -5
You still haven't answered my question about still living near r him and going to school where you are from
|
|
|
|
Post by mynameis42 on Sept 25, 2017 21:43:56 GMT -5
I have answered about whether he knows my feelings- to my knowledge he doesn't know, but there's now way for me to be sure.
And I go to school 2 hours from home, so I'm not at home but it's kind of close.
|
|
|
|
Post by mynameis42 on Sept 25, 2017 21:53:41 GMT -5
Now that I think about it, he has asked me about girls before. So he thinks I'm straight.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ask Anon on Sept 26, 2017 5:18:26 GMT -5
So. Your friend is straight. You've never told him you're gay. He doesn't know you're gay. He's going away. You want to tell him you're in love with him. I cannot see how that can conceivably end well. You want to tell him your whole friendship has been based on misunderstanding (which he will likely see as deceit), and now you're in love with him. At best, he will be confused, and need time to think about all that. And telling him now, when he has so many challenges to face, means the easiest option is to put it aside. At worst, you'll never hear from him again. You've known you are gay for some time: if you'd been honest with him from then, you'd likely have a lasting friendship that would bridge the distance. Now, it's almost certainly far too late for that. You're gay; he's heterosexual. Don't you think you'd have a better chance of happiness with someone who is gay? Of course it may be that it isn't love, it may be infatuation; confusing closeness with love. If that's the case, you'll likely get over him once he's gone [see: propinquity] |
|
|
|
Post by mynameis42 on Sept 26, 2017 15:54:28 GMT -5
No I don't want to tell him because I know that might ruin the friendship we already have. But I just don't know what to do because not seeing him very often is killing me.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ask Anon on Sept 26, 2017 18:31:50 GMT -5
No I don't want to tell him because I know that might ruin the friendship we already have. But I just don't know what to do because not seeing him very often is killing me. I'm sorry, but I really can't imagine what you're hoping to hear. He's going away. You'll see less of him. What alternatives are available to you? |
|
|
|
Post by Gina99 on Sept 26, 2017 19:57:43 GMT -5
No I don't want to tell him because I know that might ruin the friendship we already have. But I just don't know what to do because not seeing him very often is killing me. I answered this. It's time to move on. Keep the friendship and focus on what is doable. You are obsessing over something you can't have. Seek counseling services at school and you will find out that this is about something much bigger. Meanwhile join clubs like the gay alliance on campus, make friends in class ,volunteer, get an internship and you will meet people with whom you have things in common |
|
|
|
Post by rawrimasloth on Sept 29, 2017 6:05:24 GMT -5
Yo if your friend is going away and your not gonna see them regardless. what's the point in keeping your feelings bottled up if you feel like you love him go for it. it's not like your friendship will ever be anymore if you don't take risks. Life is about taking risks no risk no reward. Get in there and follow your heart do what you think is right  |
|
