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Post by randomhighschoolguy on Jul 5, 2017 4:56:45 GMT -5
Hello, im new to this website. i am in my 2nd year now. so i have this female friend. we were both transferees last year and yeah, we became close, and then she met this girl and the 3 of us are friends now as in close friends. But during near end of school year, i feel like my bond with my friends gets weaker and she becomes more close to this friend. But it lasted until the end of schoolyear since, I guess, the other girl is from another section? Both of us were really close like i change seats so i can seat next to her, we both have interests, like gaming. Then, the next school year starts... btw we also hace this another male friend :] who is really nice and quiet. When the sections for the next school year is announced, i was really horrified because i was left out from the 4 of us. yep, but the twist is my name is misplaced so i moved to the other section with my friends. i thought it will be a fun year, but what i didnt know is that i will just feel left behind them. I mean i think the friendship is starting to get toxic and weaker. she invited me to play this certain game which i really had not that much idea... but i guess i played it wrong, now she keeps on teasing me. today, i was really quiet then that :[. They really seems as if these 2(not including the nice guy)makes me feel left out, they seem as if they dont care about me. I am not angry about the other girl but I just dont know what to do. I dont think i can fit in to the other groups of students... and the schoolyear just started. We were really close last year but today, it's just as if, the freshmen year never...happened.
P.S. sorry for bad english and heeeeelp mee!
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Post by Ask Anon on Jul 5, 2017 12:56:36 GMT -5
In that first year, you were both outsiders, and that was something you had in common. You don't have that anymore - you're both part of the class like anyone else - and you don't have anything 'special' any more.
That's no reason to end a friendship: but maybe it's time to realise that to her, you are just one of a set of friends, while you seem to be dependent on just one person.
There's nothing wrong with the friendship, from what you've said. Your problem is that you don't have other friends. She does. You have to live with that. And be good to other people, too.
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Post by Gina99 on Jul 6, 2017 12:37:00 GMT -5
"is starting to get toxic and weaker..... now she keeps on teasing me. .makes me feel left out, they seem as if they dont care about me."
Are these girls really friends? Are they ever nice and inclusive anymore? Maybe you should think about making new friends.
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Post by randomhighschoolguy on Jul 15, 2017 9:52:21 GMT -5
I guess you guys have a point.... I guess im just really upset that i feel like last school year never happened... As if i was the friend who just snuck into their friendship... That other girl, she was really nice, i feel like she can be a better friend in my opinion. The 3 of us have the same interest, gaming, same sense of humour. But i guess im just really replaced. I guess because Im a guy and they are both females, i guess that how that works? Im confused. I dont know how i should feel.They still talk to me, play obline games, but i feel like, i dont know how to explain, sorry for this but please help me understand. I guess im just that person who tries very hard to fit in an overcrowded room. I dont when shoul i give up. I cant find any other friends. I know im being too dependent because i believed that i would spend my highschool with my bestfriend. I just feel out of place. Also, when the other girl was going to be absent fpr 2 days, those days, it felt just like last year, there were overcrowded room. she was close again but then when the other girl came back, it feels trying to fit agaIn. Sorry for the time ive taken but please just, just help me understand more. My heart says I want this frienship to last but my brains saying the opposite because it cpntinues to hurt my feelings. Also, remember when i said last school year that i always change seat with my classmate to sit beside her? well now, its the opposite. she asks me to switch places with the other girl so that she can sit beside her. I just feel angry, i became depressed, this is a sudden change, i guess you are right. im not only dependent but i should also accept change
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Post by randomhighschoolguy on Jul 15, 2017 9:54:57 GMT -5
In my batch the whole boys are in a whole group and also the girls. But there are also indepent ones who have less members. Like for example, us, and anpther group of girls and another one.
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Post by Ask Anon on Jul 15, 2017 10:36:33 GMT -5
You don't have to be part of a clique.
All the best people aren't.
And yes, you need to learn to accept change, even when you don't like it.
And you need to learn to separate friendship from ownership, or the next few years ago be really tough.
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Post by randomhighschoolguy on Jul 15, 2017 10:53:56 GMT -5
Yes, Thank you  |
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Post by randomhighschoolguy on Jul 15, 2017 11:02:23 GMT -5
But one last thing. I dont know what to do, maybe ill still hang out with them, but will not be that close anymore? Maybe i should build a border on where i should stay, not being too close. I need someone close to interact or socialize, after all, this is highschool. Please just correct me if im wrong. Maybe that how things are. Thank you, Ask Anon.
I guess im very close minded, selfish, and dependent...
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Post by Ask Anon on Jul 25, 2017 5:09:27 GMT -5
There's no short cuts to friendship, but you need to start looking at other people - maybe people who aren't in cliques, where it's always competitive, and often destructive.
Look at each individual on their own merits.
Friendship is about affection, trust, and respect, often in the reverse order: you can often respect people you don't know too well, and as you get to know them trust develops ... then - maybe - affection.
That's all pretty obvious. But it only works when feelings are mutual. You may respect someone, but trust would be crazy if you know they they don't respect you. Similarly, if someone grows to trust you, and then realises that you don't trust them, then they're unlikely to like you very much.
But don't force it. friendship takes time to grow, and can be fragile. But if you look after it, it can last a lifetime.
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