Post by okayups on Aug 2, 2016 23:40:34 GMT -5
I've been friends with someone for about 5-6 years. We've always been close and I could always talk to this person about everything and we had practically identical personalities and humor. But recently we stopped being friends for an unknown reason because of how this person has been acting.
She didn't graduate high school and I feel like she's blaming the people around her for her own self disappointment. Although she is my friend, I've always noticed she had little work ethic and I'm absolutely the same way. I would take extra copies of assignments just in case because I had really good intentions and I really wanted to help my friend graduate. I ALWAYS took notes and when there was a huge assignment I would ask if she wanted to grab coffee and study. She always declined. Once in a while before a test day she'd ask me for notes and I would spend time highlighting the important stuff because she missed the course but she would practically never show up for the exam.
One incident was in a class where she asked to see an assignment and copy, in front of the teacher and I had to save my integrity and the trust of the teacher and decline.
I tried to not come off as suffocating but I had a hard time doing important projects and assignments knowing that I have the rubric and the power to help her get the material for these things, so I always kept her updated with class things for example if there was a important in-class assignment, I'd text her days in advance just to let her know and give her details. I knew her goals and dreams and I wanted to help her get to them. She was a extremely smart person but she was never good with dates and details and I was. I felt guilty she was behind so I so I worked extra hard to help. She rarely showed work ethic and skipped a lot so the teachers weren't exactly missing her when she'd be gone for weeks and weeks.
I understand dropping out is devastating but I feel like after graduation she seemed to hold some sort of resentment towards me like I had did something wrong to her.
I've helped her out of the stickiest situations but she has little to no respect for it. I'd listen for hours about boys and I would talk her through issues when she felt like she made bad decisions. I feel very angry at her behavior. I understand you can walk a horse to water but you can't make it drink. The thing is, I brought the buckets to her and I really tried to help her because she's told me the things she wants out of life and as a friend I only wanted to hold her up to her own standards. We don't talk now, I actually blocked her number and I've accepted it, and honestly... As I get older I tend to not want to RAISE my own friends.
I'm just curious for future reference when it comes to friends...was I in the wrong here? We had practically the same visions for our futures and although I've faced hardships along the way, I was inching towards something we both talked about wanting and naturally, as a friend, I wanted to bring her up with me. I didn't want to give up on her because she decided to go through a "phase".
She didn't graduate high school and I feel like she's blaming the people around her for her own self disappointment. Although she is my friend, I've always noticed she had little work ethic and I'm absolutely the same way. I would take extra copies of assignments just in case because I had really good intentions and I really wanted to help my friend graduate. I ALWAYS took notes and when there was a huge assignment I would ask if she wanted to grab coffee and study. She always declined. Once in a while before a test day she'd ask me for notes and I would spend time highlighting the important stuff because she missed the course but she would practically never show up for the exam.
One incident was in a class where she asked to see an assignment and copy, in front of the teacher and I had to save my integrity and the trust of the teacher and decline.
I tried to not come off as suffocating but I had a hard time doing important projects and assignments knowing that I have the rubric and the power to help her get the material for these things, so I always kept her updated with class things for example if there was a important in-class assignment, I'd text her days in advance just to let her know and give her details. I knew her goals and dreams and I wanted to help her get to them. She was a extremely smart person but she was never good with dates and details and I was. I felt guilty she was behind so I so I worked extra hard to help. She rarely showed work ethic and skipped a lot so the teachers weren't exactly missing her when she'd be gone for weeks and weeks.
I understand dropping out is devastating but I feel like after graduation she seemed to hold some sort of resentment towards me like I had did something wrong to her.
I've helped her out of the stickiest situations but she has little to no respect for it. I'd listen for hours about boys and I would talk her through issues when she felt like she made bad decisions. I feel very angry at her behavior. I understand you can walk a horse to water but you can't make it drink. The thing is, I brought the buckets to her and I really tried to help her because she's told me the things she wants out of life and as a friend I only wanted to hold her up to her own standards. We don't talk now, I actually blocked her number and I've accepted it, and honestly... As I get older I tend to not want to RAISE my own friends.
I'm just curious for future reference when it comes to friends...was I in the wrong here? We had practically the same visions for our futures and although I've faced hardships along the way, I was inching towards something we both talked about wanting and naturally, as a friend, I wanted to bring her up with me. I didn't want to give up on her because she decided to go through a "phase".
