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Post by ano9933n on Jul 14, 2016 10:46:40 GMT -5
I'm 21 and have been married more than 2 years to an amazing man. All my life I've wanted tattoos but I can't get any because he hates them. He literally told me he would divorce me if I got one, which pissed me off to no end so I went and got a little one on my foot. I guess I was taking a stand against how controlling I felt he was being. I wanted to be myself and thought who I am as a person shouldn't be changed by any man. Rather than getting mad he just really hurt that I was willing to risk him leaving me. He felt unwanted and disrespected. Of course he loves me too much to leave me over that. He just wanted to scare me into not getting one, which I think I knew. I want to make him happy and for him to be attracted to me. But I really want to get more tattoos. If I could I would go out today and get a full sleeve. I have so many ideas and things that I want. Hundreds of screenshots of things I want. Not that I want to be covered head to toe, but definately a few. I want so badly to express myself and be myself and do what I want with my own body. I try to communicate this to him but he wont listen. He thinks ink is ugly and impure. What in the world can I do or say? Should I just live the rest of my life fighting against this part of myself? I've tried to convince myself I don't want any but overtime I catch myself browsing pinterest again...
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Post by Ask Anon on Jul 14, 2016 11:17:12 GMT -5
Did you ever actually promise not to get tattoos?
If you did that's an issue you have to face.
If you never made such a promise, then my feeling is that it's your body, you life. He doesn't own you. And, of course, he'll eventually come to terms with your flirtation with the Dark Arts (That's a joke)
The other question is more important, possibly: Up to now, you have obeyed his immature threat, but now you have decided to stand up to him. So what has changed in the relationship? Has he got more controlling in other ways? Have you lost some respect for him?
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Post by Gina99 on Jul 15, 2016 14:21:42 GMT -5
" He literally told me he would divorce me if I got one,"
Does he often threaten to leave you? Is he a controlling person in general?
If you promised not to get one and went ahead with it then that is deceit no matter how badly you wanted to express yourself. May you can compromise with temporary tattoos at times. Maybe there is a larger issue in your marriage.
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Post by bigtalk on Sept 20, 2016 0:49:06 GMT -5
May be you should just listen to him. You went against his wishes already once and got a tattoo. Now, you should show your love and respect to him by listening to him. May be you should select either among the one.
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Post by froyonomo on Jul 31, 2017 20:58:12 GMT -5
He sounds really controlling unfortunately. I think you should get them if you didn't promise you wouldn't - be yourself, and then shower him with your love and affection - he might be mad at first, but he'll get over it. His controlling behavior is really the biggest issue here and enabling that behavior isn't being a good wife... you will only grow resentful.
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