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Post by maddie on Jan 21, 2016 2:03:02 GMT -5
There is this girl I've been friends with for over three years now. She has always been self-centered, but I've always blamed it on some stuff going on in her home life. I've always been there for her, listening and giving advice.
She hasn't exactly done the same for me. She doesn't really respond when I tell her my issues. She makes me feel as if they are not important. It was really beginning to irk me.
Recently, my father was diagnosed with cancer. I told her about it, and her response was an emotionless "I'm sorry". Then she turned and started talking to her other friends about something else.
I feel like that was the final straw. I want to end our friendship, as I've tried too many times to forgive her for her narcissism. The problem is, we share the same friends and a class. What should I do?
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Post by Ask Anon on Jan 21, 2016 5:00:05 GMT -5
There is this girl I've been friends with for over three years now. She has always been self-centered, but I've always blamed it on some stuff going on in her home life. I've always been there for her, listening and giving advice. She hasn't exactly done the same for me. She doesn't really respond when I tell her my issues. She makes me feel as if they are not important. You don't have to go from trying to be her best friend to trying to be her worst enemy. Just relax, lower your expectations. From what you say, she never was interested in you - the 'friendship' was mostly in your head. You accuse her of narcissism, but it sounds like plain old-fashioned 'she's just not that into you'. Accept that. You still know each other, you're still in the same group. Just don't expect her to be interested when you take your problems to her (she isn't). And maybe don't put the effort into 'being there for her', because she doesn't need it. Look around; there's other people. Find people who treat you with respect, don't chase people who really don't want or need you. |
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Post by Gina99 on Jan 21, 2016 10:52:21 GMT -5
Just lesson the amount of time you spend with her but be nice, civil and pay more attention to other people in your circle and classes.
If she ever is aware enough to notice, and asks what is going on can tell her how you feel- that you gave up sharing what is going on with you because she isn't empathetic.
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Post by jillster on Jan 24, 2016 18:38:24 GMT -5
It's always frustrating when you give more to a relationship than you ever get in return. It's especially frustrating now when you are going through an extremely difficult time and need the kind of support now that you have given to this friend in the past.
The signs, though, were always there that she was self-centered. If you are disappointed now, you really can't be angry with her after all this time. That's just the way she is, for good or for ill, regardless of whether or not you feel you are owed sympathy in return for the sympathy you have given.
I hope you have other good, close friends to rely on during this stressful time, and that you can tolerate this girl for the sake of your mutual friends and the classes you share. As Anon says, if you lower your expectations, you should be able to do this.
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Post by maddie on Jan 16, 2017 19:03:22 GMT -5
Well it's all good now. I no longer talk to her at all. And her stepmom ended up with cancer too.
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Post by Ask Anon on Jan 17, 2017 5:02:53 GMT -5
Well it's all good now ... And her stepmom ended up with cancer too. If you live long enough, you'll learn what a nasty, spiteful, small-minded remark that is. Or maybe not. |
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Post by maddie on Jan 17, 2017 22:33:01 GMT -5
I don't think so. After a "friend" abandons you at night in bad places, several times, and then outs you to people without your permission, most of the sympathy disappears.
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